


Love or duty?

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Political Jon Snow, Post-Canon, alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 04:47:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20270230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: To her horror, Jon’s lips twitched slightly and Sansa was already rising to her feet, tears stinging her eyes again as she was dealt this new humiliation. But immediately, Jon followed her, taking her wrist gently.“Sansa, please listen,” he whispered, pulling her around to face him.“I won’t be humiliated Jon, not in my own home and for you to laugh at my misfortune of loving you is...”“I didn’t love her.”





	Love or duty?

**Author's Note:**

> hehehehehe *hides away from drabble deadline*  
Well, I did say people had a week extra to do prompts  
totally not because I was struggling with time or anything, no siree... :p

Sansa had thought marrying Jon would solve so many problems but she hadn’t thought of the one thing that would make it easier – love.

Neither of them had chosen each other but peace depended on their union, and more importantly, the children from their marriage.

Yet when Jon came to her bed that first night she couldn’t go through with it, tears blurring her vision as she felt her dreams slip away.

Years ago, in the Vale, she had told herself that nobody would ever marry her for love so that she could be prepared. After father, mother and Robb, after enduring Petyr’s attentions and realising that love was foolish, she had thought she would be used to disappointment and life not being a song.

But Jon had saved her.

He took her from the Vale, helped reclaim Winterfell in her name and promised her that he would protect her until his dying breath.

Against all her better judgement, she began to believe in good men again. But, she also found herself falling in love with him. The shame of her feelings caused her to withdraw from him, to the point where she only said goodbye to him when he left for Dragonstone to treat with the Dragon Queen as he was mounting his horse.

When he returned, she was by his side as though she belonged there and Sansa had felt the last of her heart shatter into a million pieces, the ache so much to bear that she had forgone the welcome feast and feigned illness, retiring to her rooms.

After, when the night king was gone and the dragon queen had fulfilled her father’s desire to lay ruin to Kings Landing, after Jon had killed her and been taken prisoner, Sansa had begged for another way to prove to the lords that Jon could be trusted, it had been decided that they should marry.

But Sansa hadn’t counted on this, feeling second best, a consolation prize.

For the first few nights, Jon would come to her chambers under pretence of coupling with her. Once, Jon’s hand had grazed her hip, lingering slightly and she had broken down in sobs from the idea of being compared to someone else, of Jon thinking of someone else while finding comfort in her arms.

He had retreated his hand quickly, asked if she was alright and if she wanted to talk about it. She had said no, for what could she say? Instead she pretended that she was just tired and her emotions were on edge as a result. It wasn’t a complete lie for she knew he had lain awake beside her when she couldn’t sleep either, their backs to each other across the wide open space.

It took four moons before she finally broke down and forced herself to ask him to perform his duties. Love was not something she should expect anymore but her duty to the north, to the seven kingdoms could not be postponed forever.

“Can we…?” she started, unable to look up from her plate as they took supper in her chambers. Still, she could see his head rising in her vision, waiting for her to continue. “Can we try…tonight?”

“Try?” 

She nodded slowly, her gaze flickering to the bed before finally meeting his eyes. Jon swallowed, his own eyes fixed on the bed.

“You’re ready?” he asked, looking to her again.

Sansa frowned, puzzled. “Ready?”

“For that,” he clarified. “I won’t touch you unless it is really what you want. We have time if you’re not ready for this step.”

She blinked, the words on the tip of her tongue of how she had wanted nothing more since they had wed and even before. But then, something seemed to click in her mind from his words and she tilted her head at him.

“Did you think I didn’t want to?”

“I thought that was why you were crying,” he explained. “Because you didn’t want to…I don’t know what happened to you in the vale and I didn’t want to make things worse.”

“I’ve never…” she started, trailing off with a blush when Jon’s eyes met hers. She shook her head slightly and turned the conversation to his point. “I wasn’t crying because I didn’t want you to touch me. Quite the opposite in fact.”

“I don’t understand,” he replied slowly.

“Because I don’t want to be a consolation prize, or second best,” she explained, careful not to speak the name of the woman who had caused her this heartache. She wouldn’t give her the satisfaction after every threat she had had to endure from her.

To her horror, Jon’s lips twitched slightly and Sansa was already rising to her feet, tears stinging her eyes again as she was dealt this new humiliation. But immediately, Jon followed her, taking her wrist gently.

“Sansa, please listen,” he whispered, pulling her around to face him.

“I won’t be humiliated Jon, not in my own home and for you to laugh at my misfortune of loving you is...”

“I didn’t love her.”

She stopped abruptly, staring at him with wide eyes.

“What?”

“I never loved her,” he repeated. “I merely did what needed to be done.”

“But…I was sure that…everyone thought…”

“Well that was the point,” he murmured, his eyes glinting with mirth at her words. “No point pretending if I couldn’t make it believable.”

Sansa felt her cheeks flush. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”

“I should apologise,” he whispered back, his hand leaving her wrist and slowly traveling up the length of her arm. “For not including you in my plans, for making you feel as though you could ever be considered unworthy in any way. It is I who is unworthy of your love, not you of mine.”

She clasped his hand from where it lay on her shoulder and brought his knuckles to her lips. “Was that a love confession?”

Her eyes fixed onto his, watching them soften before dropping to his mouth, the lips curling upwards ever so slightly. She felt her eyes flutter closed as his hand cupped her cheek and she felt his breath against her lips before he spoke.

“Will you have me for a husband? Truly, Sansa?”

She nodded, eyes still closed in anticipation, her hands tight around his neck as she moved forward in search of his kiss. “I’m yours and you are mine, until the end of our days.”

“May that be a long time yet,” he whispered before finally pulling her into him and sealing his lips to hers.


End file.
